Many of us don’t know how to trust the process in our lives, because society has given us a blueprint to follow since birth.
Grow up.
Go to school.
Get a job.
Meet someone…Marry.
Have children.
Retire, then live life afterwards.
Not necessarily in that order, but you catch my drift. Trusting the process can feel like an uphill battle for people who have anxiety, depression, or prefer to be in control.
No one wants to make elaborate plans or set life goals knowing there’s a 50/50 chance they may fall through.
I’m convinced you’ll get more out of life by taking risks and leaving things up to chance.
Forcing things to happen when they aren’t supposed to can lead to more sadness, disappointment, and anguish. You can avoid these feelings by accepting things as they are.
The sooner we accept we are not in control, the better. We aren’t all dealt the same cards at birth. The blueprints we’re given won’t always look the same.
We may even have a different destination in mind compared to where others think we should be.
God assigns purpose, but some of us spend an entire lifetime in search of it.
And that’s okay.
Knowing that a higher power is fully in control provides us with a sense of comfort that we are exactly where we need to be in life and on the right path.
As long as you follow God’s timeline, you should be content on your journey.
One of my favorite bible verses is Philippians 4:6-7.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
Bible, Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing. It’s something I remind myself of anytime I set goals or get discouraged because I haven’t reached a milestone by a certain time frame.
Whatever your heart desires, make it known to God, and he will fulfill all of your needs.
Understand that what we want may not always be the best that God has in store for us.
Sometimes, I reflect on my past friendships, relationships, and jobs, and am thankful there was something much better waiting for me on the other side.
That’s why it’s worth it to keep going.
So, when you’re feeling rejected, overwhelmed, or ignored, hold on and trust the process.
- You’ll get accepted to the right college.
- You will make all the connections you need to achieve your career goals.
- You will meet and marry the right person.
- You’ll be out of that toxic environment in due time.
If you’ve ever wondered what trust in the process means spiritually? This is it.
Trusting the process means the willingness to accept where you are at every stage of your life. Be grateful for what you have and persevere through obstacles in your way.
Learn how to trust the process and embrace life with no regrets.
Soon enough, you’ll appreciate the rough patches of your past. Life experience builds character, influences change, and improves the quality of our standards.
You’ll learn how to pick better friends, better romantic partners, and make better choices overall.
How do you trust the process and let go?
Too often, we hold on to things and people we need to let go of.
Trusting the process in my 20s was the hardest, because I was juggling many transitions in my life at once.
After graduating college, my transition into adulthood wasn’t easy.
My plate was full after juggling graduate school, work, bills, and relationships all at once.
During this time, I was clinging onto old friends and past relationships for dear life.
I rekindled old flames and desperately tried to stay in touch with people who were no longer interested in investing our friendships long-term.
Eventually, you grow tired of one-sided relationships and doing all the work. This usually comes with wisdom and age.
It took me a while to move forward. But one day I woke up and understood that I moved into a new season in my life with new people, new places, and brand new environments.
I embraced the woman I was becoming instead of rejecting her and sabotaging my growth.
One thing I learned back then is to accept people for who they are and take them at face value.
Actions speak louder than words. And as many times, we’d like to give people chance after chance, it’s not always worth it in the end.
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
It’s a waste of time to force people to change. They’ll only do so if they want to.
Although you may know someone’s potential, you have to trust the process and let them reach their destination on their own timing in life.
You can’t expedite the process to benefit your own wants and desires in relationships. Sometimes, it is better to let go.
If a partnership is truly bound to happen, things will work out no matter what.
The fair weather friendships we have in our formative years are rarely the friendships we need when we’re older.
What’s great about life is that we are all developing at our own pace. We’re being molded to discover and carry out our individual purposes.
Holding onto your childhood and glory days when you were young, popular, fit and felt happier can impede on your growth.
Your future can be just as bright as your past if you learn how to trust the process and let go of what’s holding you back.
You can have great friendships and loving, healthy relationships when you’re older, too.
However, you have to be open to something new. You can look and feel just as good as you did in your teens well into your 40s and 50s by embracing a lifestyle change.
Forgiveness and grudges are things you need to let go of. Some people are still holding onto things others did to them in middle school. Kids can be very cruel at that age, and sometimes they don’t know any better.
Imagine running into an old bully at work and begrudging them for who they were as a child.
Yes, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds. There’s healing in trusting the process of life and letting go of hurt.
You don’t have to become buddies with people who have wronged you, but it feels so much better when you release those painful memories and soften your heart.
How do you trust the timing of your life?
Your timeline is not God’s timeline. We make plans and God laughs at them all the time.
There are quite a few ways to trust the timing of your life. I’ve shared various strategies below that still work for me on my personal development journey.
As I continue to mature emotionally and mentally, I refrain from engaging in the following things:
- Comparison traps
- Gossiping about others
- Believing the media
- Competing with friends
- Adhering to societal norms
- Self doubt
- Bad habits
- Restrictive beliefs
- People pleasing
- Oversharing
There’s at least one thing in every category we can all relate to.
We fall into comparison traps when we see people with lifestyles or appearances we desire on social media or in public.
While it may feel like it’s taking forever to reach your ideal weight or save enough money to purchase a weekend home, your goals will always be attainable.
You may not reach them on your specific timeline, but if you can see success in front of you, it will happen. That’s all that matters.
Learning how to trust the process takes time. As long as you aren’t intentionally engaging in activities that deter you from focusing on your goals, you can achieve everything you set your mind to.
If you engage in idle talk, trust everything you read online and in the media, or limit significant moments in life by age, your goals may remain unattainable.
Societal norms aren’t for everyone. And it’s one of the main reasons people struggle with trusting the process.
Some people get frustrated or discouraged when they see all of their old friends and classmates passing them by in life.
Everyone is getting married, buying a house, graduating from college, securing high-paying jobs, or thriving in business.
Sometimes this sparks our competitive side, which could be a good or a bad thing. Maybe you’re the type that needs external motivation to do better, and that’s okay.
But if you have an envious spirit and fixate on doing better than others around you, then you’ll likely end up with setbacks.
Competitive people lose track of their own personal goals when they are paying too much attention to the success of everyone else.
It’s best to focus on your own skill sets and strengths. Stay the course and stay in your lane, or else you’ll end up wasting time on the wrong track.
Trusting the process requires you to keep an open mind. Goal posts get moved. Things change. It’s all a part of life.
Your blessings may come in forms that you least expect. Don’t be so limiting in your beliefs. Be open to trying a different route.
When you have a goal in mind, refrain from telling everyone what you’re working on. People love to tear down dreams they feel are unrealistic or don’t have the talents to bring to fruition.
Hold your cards close to your chest.
If you’re naturally a caretaker or giving person, by all means, be your authentic self.
Just be aware that pleasing others can prevent you from reaching the destination of your journey on time.
If you’re constantly stopping what you’re doing to support and cheer on others, you may never get where you’re supposed to be. It’s okay to pull back a little.
Develop a monthly plan where you give back every other weekend.
Open up time in your weekly schedule to listen to a friend or show up for family members.
Don’t forget to prioritize you.
How do you let go of things you can’t control?
Take a step back and try to view things from various perspectives. But, more importantly, focus on the things that you can control instead.
Two things that are difficult to control in life are relationships and circumstances.
Partnerships are investments.
Both parties are taking a risk and want to gain more out of the opportunity than what they’re willing to lose.
While it makes sense on paper, people change. They either grow together in the relationship, or more often than not, they grow apart.
And sometimes, it’s better to let go than remain stagnant and unhappy in unfortunate situations.
You can’t make people change their ways or bad habits. Yes, you can motivate and encourage, but when you’re more invested in them winning than they are, it’s time to let go.
Drop the reins because you were never in control.
Allow people to govern themselves. It’s no different from loving a toxic family member from afar. Once you create distance, take some time to consider their perspective, or accept who they are at face value. It’s much easier to let go of things you can’t control.
This applies to other areas of life, too.
If you work in a toxic environment and leadership doesn’t want to change; coworkers have low morale; and you’re not getting the experience you need to grow…Let go.
Focus on what you have control over and change your environment. Network and seek help outside of your daily 9-to-5 by acquiring skills that will take you to the next level in your career.
Circumstances in life aren’t always favorable.
We experience health scares, lose spouses, and friendships end abruptly.
When it’s beyond repair, accept that it’s out of your control and learn how to trust the process.
While on my journey of understanding how to trust the process, letting go of things that were beyond my control is what I struggled with the most.
I wanted to keep the same people around me from my childhood until I realized many of them couldn’t or didn’t want to go. I stayed at dead end jobs far longer than I should have.
In result, I welcomed change in my life, and showed gratitude for every stage that I was in.
Rather than complaining and reminiscing about the past, I created a vision before me. It provided me with a daily reminder that there were better days ahead.
If you want to know how to trust the process, look within, focus on you, and all the pieces of your life will fall into place.
How do you move on when things don’t go as planned?
10 productive things you can to do when things don’t go as planned:
- Revisit your original goal
- Reflect on the situation and figure out the best strategy to move forward
- Unplug to gain clarity
- Meditate and pray for guidance
- Go on a wellness treat
- Seek therapy to navigate through grief
- Show gratitude
- Focus on helping others
- Declutter mentally to think clearly with knowledge transfers
- Read more
Understanding how to trust the process in your life shouldn’t be a difficult feat. One of the best ways to embrace life with no regrets is to adopt a simple lifestyle. Take 31-days to complete a simple living challenge, or download one for free here.
I teach entrepreneurs how to simplify their life and business with less + own their time and maximize productivity towards their personal and monetary goals.
Adriana says
Thank you so much for talking about this, everything I read just helped me to have more faith in the process and trust more in myself! I appreciate it a lot. I send you a big hug.